build transformational muscle…
Finding the gems within our shadows…
Like everybody I have a grocery list of unenviable events I’ve experienced in life….
My father succumbed to alcohol addiction
Childhood loneliness
A violent and abusive relationship in my teen years
Teenage pregnancy
Deep loneliness in marriage, and divorce
The death of my Dad as he succumbed to cancer and alcohol abuse
+20years of extreme self-induced stress
Infertility
These are some of the macro events in my life, but the micro ones are more plentiful and some more jarring than the big. I spent so many early years believing the life was supposed to be hard, heavy and enduring. I thought I was happy and content. Like everyone else, I did my best to navigate the challenges the best way I knew how.
I found myself drawn to books for inspiration about people who had overcome adversity. The stories I read illustrated unwavering determination for survival, and undeniable resilience in the face of suffering. As the authors traversed their challenges, their shadows lifted to reveal unexpected beauty.
It helped me to put my life into perspective. I was able to see the rough unpolished gems that were obscured within the shadows of my life. These gems are the unexpected gifts and learnings that we get to polish and shine light into our shadows, and seed hope.
I’ve found these 4 steps help me to step outside of my emotional self when a challenge strikes.
Acknowledge - Mmmm, that happened (and breath)
Understand - ok, I can see why that happened (and breath)
Accept - I can’t change what’s already happened (and breath)
Integrate - because that happened I now want to… (and breath)
Circling back and repeating these simple steps helps to build and strengthen “transformational muscle”, at the same time disrupt counterproductive thoughts, feelings and behaviours, and form new belief patterns….because life will continue to give you gems disguised as shadow moments for you to transformed.
May you transform with ease.
©2021 Kim Wessels. All rights reserved.
